Dean's Angel
by supergirl3684
Summary: A year after Mary’s death Dean is having trouble adjusting. When he goes quiet and then throws a tantrum John as find out what’s bothering his son. Pre-Series; Pre-John joining his sons. WARNING: contains corporal punishment


DEAN'S ANGEL

**DEAN'S ANGEL**

_**SUMMARY: A year after Mary's death Dean is having trouble adjusting. When he goes quiet and then throws a tantrum John as find out what's bothering his son. Pre-Series; Pre-John joining his sons **_

_**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Supernatural or the CW.**_

_**A/N: Written as a Christmas Gift for Kat who gave me permission to share!**_

--

Sam didn't say anything from the passenger's seat as his brother, Dean, drove them out of the state. He knew it was gonna be a hard case for his older brother but he'd pushed for them to take it. He didn't realize that by visiting the place where both he and his brother were born, Dean would react the way he was.

The silence was unnerving. When they finally got to what Dean deemed far enough away they pulled into a motel. Sam still said nothing as Dean checked them in and then led the way to their rooms. He said nothing when Dean left their bags in the car and he said nothing when Dean began to pace the room.

"Sam, why don't you go and have a beer," Dean suggested.

"Why?" Sam asked; hesitate to leave his older brother alone.

"Just go Sam," Dean thundered, hating himself when he saw his baby brother jump.

Sam nodded his head; when he noticed that Dean wasn't looking he opened the curtains up just enough so he could peak in. He made his way out of the room and pretended to leave.

It was all the encouragement Dean needed to start flinging things about the room. In less then a minute flat he had one bed completely off the frame. It was then Sam understood why their room seemed isolated from everyone else…Dean had asked to be.

Knowing that his brother would never accept his help, Sam did the only thing he could think of…he called their father.

"_You're reached John; leave a message if it's important and I'll call you when I can."_

"D-dad, its Sam; I-I don't know what wrong with Dean but…he made me leave the motel room and he's destroying the room. I don't know what to do…"

Sam left their motel information and then hung up. Even though he didn't want to leave his brother alone he also didn't want to be discovered so he left to the small coffee shop just across the street.

--

John stared at the ringing phone and saw it flash _SAM_ across the screen. He wanted so badly to answer it but knew it wasn't safe. When he heard the peep that indicated there was a message he listened to it.

"…_I think the case hit harder then either of us expected. H-he mumbled something about mom in his sleep last night. Please dad, he really needs you." _

John jumped out of bed, replayed the message so he could write down the motel information and gathered his stuff. He found out that the boys were only a couple hours from him so he jumped in his truck and took off.

As he was driving he thought back to the last time Dean had pulled something like this. He'd only been four at the time…a baby. As he drove he allowed his mind to drift back…

**FLASHBACK**

It had been six months since the Winchesters had lost their wife and mother. Six months of Dean taking care of Sam while John pulled himself together. John of course did pull himself together. He got a job, got the six month old Sam in a nursery, and four year old Dean in a pre-school though he would only go for a few months before the teachers told John to put his oldest son in kindergarten.

To John's surprise Dean took to going to school once he got over his fear of leaving Sam, something John worried about. Everything seemed to be going just fine until the one year anniversary of Mary's death came.

The week had started out normal enough; Dean had been sent to school, Sam to the nursery and John to work. John was in the middle of working on a car when he was told he had a phone call.

"Winchester," John answered.

"Mr. Winchester, this is Miss. Mitchell from Lincoln Elementary. I'm calling in regards to your son Dean." A woman's voice responded.

"Is he ok?" John asked starting to feel nervous.

"Yes, sir, he's fine. Dean got into a dispute about a toy with another student and when the student refused to give the toy up Dean bit him." Miss Mitchell answered.

John sighed and finished his phone call with a promise to be at the school in ten minutes or less. Hanging up John went to tell his boss that he had to leave early leaving out the reason why.

When John got Dean home a half hour later he sat down and explained to the almost five year old that he couldn't bite other people. John understood though he did send Dean to the corner with a firm swat for five minutes.

When the five minutes were up John could visibly see a difference in his son. Dean, normally an active child (pure boy is what Mary called him) was quiet and distant. Something was obviously bothering him but Dean refused to talk and there was nothing John could do but sit and wait.

--

John opened his eyes Sunday morning and allowed a few tears to fall down his face. It was officially one year since Mary had died. A year of questions and struggles. A year of learning and fending for himself and his sons; a year…too much time had past yet not enough for the pain to go away.

John was worried about his older son Dean. Dean had slowly stopped talking ever since he'd gotten sent home early from school after biting another student. Now, he didn't talk at all, ever since yesterday.

Dean's silence was accompanied by misbehaving. First it had been biting a classmate and then it turned into not putting his toys away, throwing his supper across the room, talking back, telling his dad to 'shut up' and then things really came to head.

John finally got out of bed after hearing Sammy start to cry. When he got to the room Dean was already up and talking with his baby brother.

"Hey champ, how's Sammy?" John asked softly.

Dean turned and shrugged his shoulders.

"You hungry; how about some breakfast," John suggested.

Dean watched as John picked up Sam and then offered his hand for Dean to hold. Dean didn't take the hand and instead led the way into the kitchen.

The Winchester's weren't church goers but some family friends talked John into taking the boys to both church and Mary's grave. It was an action John would regret later.

--

Dean's silence was nerve wrecking for his father. Dean was normally an over rambunctious child. John could see the little boy's mind working…could see the storm coming. Of course not even John could have predicted the fire in the newly turned five year old.

It was after eight, on Sunday, and John had just put Sammy to bed. He made his way slowly back to his oldest. He sat down next to Dean on the sofa.

"What's going on Champ?" John asked.

Dean said nothing; his face impassive.

John couldn't stop the sigh that fell from his lips. How was he supposed to help his son if he didn't know what was going on? How was he supposed to find out what was wrong with his son if the boy wouldn't talk?

Dean suddenly got up and went to his toys.

"Dean-o it's almost time for bed. Put the toys away," John instructed.

Dean tensed and continued to play.

"Dean, put the toys away," John's tone was firm.

John didn't have time to react as Dean suddenly chucked the toy across the room. The eldest Winchester was stunned. He could only watch as Dean threw a tantrum.

Toy after toy was thrown across the room. When John finally got within arms reach Dean flung himself on the ground. To John's horror he began to kick and scream.

"First sound he makes all day and it's a scream." John grumbled.

The scream didn't last long as Dean got up and went to the dining room. He began to knock the chairs over and throw the placemats around.

When he reached for the dishes John had yet to clean, his father decided to end the tantrum. He scooped Dean into his arm, pinning the little boy's arms to his side with one arm and his legs with the other.

Taking care to make sure that Dean could hit or kick, John didn't think about one important thing!

Dean reared his head back and seeing his target brought his head back down.

"Aughh," John yelled out as he quickly lowered Dean to the ground and cradled his hand. 'The brat bit me," John growled to himself.

Dean went to run but his dad wasn't fazed. John picked him up and up righted a chair. In no short order John had his son's pajama pants and underwear down.

The now bared little boy was deposited over his father's lap. John paused; he'd never given Dean an actual spanking before. Normally a single swat and corner time was all the boy needed.

John was brought out of his thoughts by movement from Dean. Seeing the little boy getting ready to bite him once again, John raised his hand and brought it down with a flick of the wrist.

Dean gasped and looked at his father stunned. John gripped Dean's waist, pinning the boy's free arm at his side. Without preamble John started to spank and lecture. He made sure to keep his words simple and quick.

"You" **Swat** "do _not_" **Swat** "bite anyone" **Swat** "ever." **Swat** "You" **Swat** "do _not_" **Swat** "throw" **Swat** "temper" **Swat** "tantrums." **Swat**

Dean had been shocked with the first two swats but by the fourth was crying loudly. It broke John's heart but he knew he had to make sure his older son understood that his behavior wouldn't be tolerated.

John was debating if he should be done or add a couple more swats when Dean looked him, tears streaming down his face.

"Please, no more daddy," he cried.

John swooped the little boy into his arms and began to rock him back and forth.

"Shh baby; it's ok. Daddy's got you," John murmured.

Dean's cries got harder and for a fleeting moment John worried he'd gone to far with the spanking but there was something desperate about the cries coming from the little boy.

John righted the boy's pants and held him the way he did Sam.

"What the matter baby?" John pleaded to know.

Dean looked at him with wide, innocent, hurt eyes. "I want mommy."

John could feel the tears threatening to fall but he pushed them back knowing his baby boy needed him. For his son he would push back his feeling of despair.

"I know you do champ but she's here with you." John said softly.

"Where," Dean asked through his tears.

"She's here," John pointed to Dean's heart. "She loves you so much kiddo."

Dean still had tears falling but his sobs had quieted. He leaned his John, needed the comfort that only his father could give.

"Your mommy is your guardian angel now. She'll always watch over you and protect you." John explained.

Dean seemed to be thinking when John had an idea. He deposited Dean in the living room on the couch and went to his room. When he came back out he put Dean back on his lap.

"This is for you," John handed a picture to Dean. "This is mommy when she was a little girl."

Dean stared at the picture with a smile. It was a picture of a ten year old Mary, dressed as an angel…on top John written 'Dean's Angel'.

Dean gave the picture a kiss and leaned further into his father. John swayed back and forth, singing the version of the lullaby "go to sleep" that Mary had come up with when Dean was first born…

Not even three months later the Winchester's moved down to live with Jim while John learned all about the things that went bump in the night. It was the last time they were in the vicinity of where Mary had died…

**END FLASHBACK**

John held Dean to him much like he had all those years ago. Dean had stopped crying and John waited for him to squirm away but Dean didn't. As much as he hated 'chick flick' moments he needed the comfort of his father once again.

"I wanna grab something kiddo," John said as he lay Dean on the bed.

Getting up and leaving the room John brought the boys bags in. He searched through Dean's things until he came up with the angel picture of Mary. He held it out and Dean took it wordlessly.

"I miss her," Dean admitted softly.

"I know you do champ but remember, she's with you in your heart," John gave Dean another hug.

John sat on the bed, and despite some mild protests from his older son, pulled Dean to lean against him. He began to run his fingers through the boy's hair and humming the lullaby he thought was long forgotten.

Sam opened the door and stood in the doorway watching and listening. He and John had already talked about Dean's behavior.

**111111111111**

"How is he?" John asked concerned after he walked into the coffee house.

"He was just sitting on the bed when I checked on him last," Sam answered as he gave John a quick hug.

John sat down and talked to Sam about what had happened. John had told Sam the story of five year old Dean throwing his first tantrum.

"He's done this a few time now," John finished his story.

"What?" Sam asked incredulously. "When? Where was I?"

"I'd send you out to do research," John explained. "The second time was when he messed up his first solo hunt, the third time was when you got hurt on your first hunt and the last time before this was when you left for school."

**111111111111**

Sam quickly got ready for bed and lay down. He knew that when he and Dean woke up the next morning John would be gone. There would be no proof of what happened that night as John had cleaned everything up. Dean would even be able to sit for John hadn't given him a spanking like that after they disobeyed but one of trying to get Dean back from inside himself.

Sam drifted off knowing his brother would be ok and listening to his father's hum become words. Dean followed suit, allowing his father's words to lull him to sleep.

John started to sing,

"_Go to sleep_

_Go to sleep_

_Go to sleep little Dean_

_Close your eyes; say good night_

_Go to sleep little Dean_

_Mama's watching over you all day and all night_

_When you sleep she kisses you, so soft and so sweet_

_She'll protect you from harm_

_And stay with you all day long_

_So go to sleep little Dean"_

**THE END**


End file.
